Stupid Files: Man Calls Police to Check “Nasty Marijuana”

By Ron Crumpton

Believing that he had been sold bad marijuana, a Uniontown, Pennsylvania man promptly called the police to investigate.

Now, just about all marijuana smokers, at one time or another, have purchased a bag of bunk, but when they do, they generally take the loss and chalk it up to experience. However, that is not always the case.

On Wednesday, an unidentified 21-year-old man stunned a Fayette County 911 dispatcher when he called to report that he had purchased some questionable marijuana.

Upon arriving at the Millview Street residence, officers noticed a leafy green substance lying on the couch. The young man said that he had just purchased the marijuana, but when he smoked it, it tasted nasty.

                                                  

According to Detective Donald Gmitter, a field test showed that the substance was not marijuana, or any other controlled substance.

"We have received calls in the past that have astounded us,” Gmitter said. “We have had calls before of people giving money to prostitutes for services. When the prostitute ran off, they wanted to report a robbery or theft. They thought was legitimate."

To add insult to injury, not only did the guy get ripped-off on his marijuana purchase. According to Sgt. Wayne Brown, the man was charged with possession of a counterfeit substance.

You cannot blame this entry into the Stupid Files on marijuana because apparently the dude did not have any. He must come by his stupidity… naturally.

Stupid Files: Man Mails Package of Marijuana Includes Return Address

By Ron Crumpton

 

PORT HOPE, Ontario – Members of the Port Hope Police Department seized a package containing about two ounces of marijuana from the Port Hope Post Office.

The package was addressed to an Alberta post office box on the front and had a Sanders drive return address, which the police used to obtain a search warrant. The resulting search found approximately four pounds of marijuana.

While marijuana should not be against the law, it is. Therefore, if you plan to commit a crime by sending marijuana through the mail, the wisest course of action would not be to give police an obvious means of connecting you to the crime.

"There is a reason why it's called 'dope'. Not all criminals are intelligent and this certainly was a way to transfer it but (he) obviously got caught because he wasn't that hard to find," said Port Hope Police Sgt. Bryant Wood

Police are holding a 48-year-old Port Hope man. He is facing charges for trafficking and possession for the purpose of trafficking.

Authorities have not yet released the man’s name, considering the circumstances surrounding his arrest; he should greatly appreciate their silence.

Stupid Files: Authorities Discover Marijuana Growing in Front Yard

Bryan Hartman: Front Yard Grower

By Ron Crumpton

It is true that some people are born to greatness, while others have greatness thrust upon them, but some people are born stupid, while others have stupidity thrust upon them. If you are Bryan Hartman of St. Cloud, Florida, you must have been two times lucky.

Generally, when authorities are alerted to a suspected marijuana grow, it is located deep in the woods, or a residential home is being used as a grow house; just how often do they receive a call telling them that someone is growing marijuana in their front yard?

According to the Osceola County Investigative Bureau, when they arrived on the property agents found 17 marijuana plants growing in the front yard. Plants ranging from two to seven feet tall were found growing, in planters, in the front yard and could “easily be seen from the roadway.”

Hartman was arrested, charged with cultivation of cannabis, and booked in to the Osceola County Jail.

This leaves one question; what, the hell, was he smokin’?